sorry.. been really busy lately.. so haven't had time to blog. dun think i'll be blogging anytime this week either. or the next for that matter. YF camp coming up got lots to do lol anyway just a short update: Wednesday attended xav's bday party in town. hahas got there in the morn to shop for his prezzie.. yea last min i noe.. but i only knew bout the party lsat min too!! i was in m'sia manz!! lol i got the stuff at 11 and xav was only gonna be there at 2 so i had 3 hrs to burn. by sum weird tyco-ness met joannA and jaslin. out shopping lol so joined them for lunch (actually only i ate =/) and walked around a bit lor.. reserved 20 seats @ fish&co for xav n booked a pool table at paradigm.. stupid xav n gnia took so long canz? they only reached at 3.30pm sth.. sarah arrived first so we started playing first. den xav's sji fren sai chiong (did i spell right? can i just call him sai? >:)) reached. DEN the big shot finally arrived. yea.. so played till 6.15.. by then yin wei, tiff, jo and jo's fren got there too. den went over to fish & co. for dinner. aiwei got there at 7 n had food poisoning so yinwei and i went w her to PS to eat porridge before going back to fish&co. ordered fish&chips (wad else???) and yinwei sang a happy bday song for xav and sum other weird song i dunno lol his sji frens are so dao manz.. refused to sing bday song for him lol refused to clap when he blew out the candles too (tiff & mira bought ice-cream cake from swenson's). and yinwei was asked by the band to perform with them everynight at fish&co lol (YINWEI!! U DARE DENY DAT U CAN SING SOMEMORE??? baskit...) yea.. so dat's bout it lor.. supposed to watch aeonflux but most of the nushs ppl had curfews so only the sji guys were watching.. n i dunno them so came home lorhh. yea dat's all. hahas tml got maths tuition in the morning so yea.. time for bed.. nitez

hahas ok lately i've been a bit fixated on BGR... but too bad la... it's really getting to be a really big issue... recently a fren said that as long as two ppl like each other, it doesn't matter how long they've known each other and they can get together. wad do u guys think? pls tag.. wad do u think is neccessary before two ppl can safely say they love each other and get together? i wanna hear your views before i share mine..

Thoughts started wandering when i was studying this afternoon. it's disturbing, i find, how love has gotten so messed up. u hear people going i love u so much i can't live without you n i would die for u bla n bla. sure sure romantic. but is that love?

The lines of boundaries between love, lust and obsession are v fine n blur into each other so often dat it's hard to make out which is which sumtimes. but i think they are completely different in nature. if it is really love that is happening, the relationship will either work out, or end peacefully in mutual understanding and consent. there is no cold war or shouting fest.

The difference:
Lust says, "I need you to be in my life."
Obsession says, "I can't live without you, my life is nothing."
Love says, "I want to be part of your life and make it wonderful."

Simply stated, lust is all about taking, a selfish desire to fulfill one's own passions. obsession is about clinging on to, like perhaps a 3-year-old would refuse to release a teddy bear. but love, above all else, is giving.

The purpose of a relationship based on lust starts with: i want you to be mine, to make my life happy, to make me smile, to satisfy me. obsession comes after lust, when desires and emotions run so high that it becomes a drug, a violent addiction. the problem with this is that when the emotions die down, there is nothing left. the whole thing revolves around being happy and the moment things go bad, run. if not, then it will end because he/she can no longer satisfy your desires. lust is never truly satisfied. it always seeks new thrills. such relationships are doomed to fail.

A relationship based on love begins because both parties want to be part of the other's life, because they feel they can make a difference to the other, making life better for each other. what happens here is that happy times will remain happy. but when things go bad, it doesn't end. because it is about making the other happy, both will want to try and get over this rocky stage. the result, is a stronger bond than before and an understand which runs deeper and deeper each time.

"Love is blind" the guy who said this is a fool. Love is never blind. lust is blind. obsession is deluded. love is always clear. Climbing the ladder of life, one party slips. Lust will move on. obsession will jump down after the person. Love will help the other back up and move on together as one. lust is blind because it sees the surface and nothing past that. it will always be blind to what is really happening as long as the physical needs are fulfilled. obsession is so caught up in the senseless craving that it convinces itself everything's alright even when the relationship begins to fall around their ears. love is the only which will seek the root of the problem and solve it, which will help the other party to find his/her footing again. why? because it seeks a better life for both of them.

That's the whole problem with the idea of love now. so common in songs: "i lose my breathe when i see your face." "you're the only one who makes me feel alive." the moment they feel the heart-thumping i-so-want-to-be-holding-him/her feeling they go "I'M IN LOVE!!" bullshit. love can come if and ONLY IF u know the person and u can safely say that i will stick with him/her through wadever that comes along because i want him/her to be happy. people nowadays see sum shuai guy or chio girl n they think they're in love. otherwise it's cos the other person makes them smile and they feel comfortable with each other but they hardly really know each other. it is NOTHING BUT RUN-AWAY EMOTIONS!!

Love is patient, love is kind.
It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.
It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it
     keeps no record of wrongs.
Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.
It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always
     perseveres.
                    -1 Corinthians 13:4-7

There. The perfect definition, in my opinion. Lust is not patient. lust is proud. it's definitely self-seeking and never protects and seldom trusts. the only thing it hopes for is the next time they kiss or, if u want extremities, to have sex. Obsession is really envious, it boasts, it's proud. It is very easily angered and will keep track of all the times the other person has let them down. it never trusts very much. true, it perseveres. but only because it doesn't want to let go of the physical feelings. it persevers in the same way a drug addict will cut off his arm for an ecstacy pill.

Especially to teens. love isn't as simple as you think. it's not a boy meets girl, boy likes girl, vice versa and happily ever after. think carefully. will u be willing to sacrifice time, sleep and energy to make it work? to sit down and smooth out all the bumps? will u be willing to give up your dreams and desires to accomodate for the other? if there are still things, other than your principles and morals, u think too important to give up for him/her, then maybe u should reconsider your "love".

Those who came here and read this entry, please help spread the message. Thanks! =)

I'm damn pissed at the above mentioned idiot. I knew he was kinda boot-licker from the start la.. but i never knew he was this bad manz!

Holiday assignment from Samuel Lim for history. group work in groups of 4, do a history essay, each person 1 paragraph, 1 perspective. We kept trying to contact him to do. MSN he block us, call him he dun pick up, sms dun reply. So we started doing ourselves. Today the little prick handed up the essay which he did on his own and told SLim he did everything and we didn't contribute. SLim called us to see him and started testing us about stuff needed for the essay. Some we didn't noe cos we haven't completed. then he started scolded us for being uninterested in our homework which is unacceptable cos we're in Humanities Program and this is supposed to be our priority. we were damn confused la! den he said Jia Xin told me u all were non-contributers. WAH KAOZ!! wei hao immediately started complaining bout jia xin daoing us la. den we gave SLim a completely detailed breakdown of how we split the work between the 3 of ourselves cos we couldn't get jia xin. then at least wei hao nice enough to say it's miscommunication and never directly blame the bitch. it's only cos we handed in 1 day later than him lor or else it'll be him who gets it!

After we left the staff room wei hao was ranting bout jia xin always trying to suck up to teachers. he always do everythg on his own den say the others didn't do anythg to show the others up and earn favour for himself. den sumtimes he also convince wei hao there's no training (they're both in track) when there is. n wei hao was saying on friday when SLim confronts him, jia xin will sure say we didn't contact him. i dun doubt it manz... kaoz. i summore thought he was zhai cos he did very well in lit n history la.. now i noe manz... no wonder he doesn't seem to have any frens in sch n gets teased n picked on all the time.

k well.. i just finished the hist essay we were SUPPOSED to do together. yup gonna go to bed now. see ya!

Ok well here's an entry for ya hahas! today i finally went out again in a long long time. as in really go out to have fun lol. Went to sch from 8-9 den went home to get ready n went down to dhoby ghaut mrt to meet gnia n gang. hahas i love my new shirt... yea wadever.. ok den we waited for michelle while eating lunch. bout 1.30 we started playing pool all the way till 6+ Michelle and Ying Zhen are not bad manz... 1st time playing can hit the ball straight liao! and that ass gnia tyco like crazy manz!! she only lost ONE FREAKING GAME!! (for jo, if u read this, i'm supposed to say that gnia won every match.. yea..) den we went for dinner at PastaMania.. stupid gnia refuse to admit the baked rice is nice just cos i recommended it! *Sticks tongue out* den the crazy girl wanted to take neo.. so we did. den she dragged us to play DDR n para para.... hahas sum guy put a token in before she could so i had to play wif him. and he's so freaking pro i play his songs until almost fall off the machine. =// yea well... got home at 9... ok dat's it i'm gonna slp now.. lol v tired. i slept at 4am yesterday. 2 hours slp only. den tml got CIT Camp to attend to xD sucks. ok well nitez all!

*points to title* yea well wadever.. random entry... been really tied down la hahas so i'm NOT coming online, NOT playing much, NOT surfing net and as u can see, definitely not blogging hahas. basically i'm frantically finalising stuff for CIT camp.. bla.. kkz yea well... wadever.. *blogblogblog* see ya. soon i hope =P

ok fine on the request of a good number of ppl i shall start updating again lol but no guarantee i'll keep blogging regularly =/

hmm yesterday after church went wif damien, kevin, kelly and yu wan (is dat how u spell it??) to PS to support alfred. he n his band were competing in the Yamaha Asian Beat Rock Band Competition. supposed to start at 4pm.

so we were waiting in church for everyone to meet. den kelly said she had to go home to change n get sum stuff. so she left. n we waiting in church... for a looooooooong time.. kevin n i ended up playing soccer. or wad we passed for soccer (passing the ball back n forth like idiots). while damien n yu wan sat round chatting (cos they were wearing formal clothes so can't run).

in the end we decided to walk over to kelly's place to wait for her. den we got news dat her fren was gonna send us there. then after we walked over n stood around waiting, kevin called her... n kelly asked us to get a taxi... so we flagged down a taxi n sat inside waiting... 4 of us. den after dat the uncle asked how many of us in total. we said 5 n he said he couldn't take so many. so we got out of the cab lol. den kelly came n we wanted to take mrt n walked over to the bus stop just in time to see our bus leave...

den kevin called alf n we found out dat they starting early, 3.30 they sound check liao. so maybe start at 3.45 or 3.50. n his is the first band playing. so we bo bian lor... go in two taxis >< got there saw alfred's band on stage, thought they started le... in the end they're STILL sound checking.. sheesh.. den got announcement say it starts at 4.20 -.-

so we decided to go into PS first. den i stay behind to chope the seats... so the guys all came back in time to watch alf's band play. they played a song called "The Hooded Man", about a man who wears a hood n goes round murdering ppl. lol oh well... anyway i can't hear the lyrics.. the vocalist was singing int his super rough voice dat sounded like the ghoul from WarCraft III... but not bad la... then kelly pro diao.. go shopping... 3rd band play finish den she come back =/

the bands all v pro lol. got funk rock, heavy metal, death metal, alternative all those la... i dunno rock music... lol then the speaker's were so loud i almost went deaf... anyway there was this group called "Genesis" dress until v ki siao... like some J-Pop wannabe.. or a character out of some goth anime...

the vocalist v fair, even fairer than sylvester from sg idol. same hairstyle though. den tight-fitting black t-shirt wif white grafitti-looking text n splotches. leathery looking pants dat the emcee said was pvvc lol den got a lot of chains hanging at the side of his pants la anyway. den his arms got this two black things dat remind me of the spongy elbow guards judo ppl use during training. except that these are made of cloth (quite thick) n a lot longer. left arm it stretch from a lil bit above the wrist to just above elbow. right arm from mid-forearm to becpes there.

the other band members din really take note... but u get the idea la... den all v thin n girly looking... but their voices all v gd (male-sounding voices).

den their supporters, 3 girls, even more pro...

the first one hair streak gold den tie in two HUGE ponytails at the side, something liek sailormoon but shorter n thicker... den inside a white t-shirt wif only 1 strap on the right n over that a black t-shirt wif only 1 strap on the left. den the bottom v tattered kind. black leather pants, or maybe it's pvc... then shoes platform until v high... around 10cm?? socks red n white striped v thick v high... like those jap girls. den wrists n neck also got sum accessories... cannot rmb...

the second one hair streak white. v straight n go until mid-back. eye-shadow n eyebrow dat thingy black n put until A LOT! black lipstick, bulldog collar, black blouse of sum kinda plastic-y material wif shredded sleeves. tight fitting pants of the same material as the blouse. a THICK belt wif a BIG buckle and a necklace wif a v big white cross as the pendant (i'm not offended by her outfit, but v offended by the cross. it's not a piece of decoration, it has a vital significance). den wrists also got sum kinda cuff... sumthing like those wodnerwoman wears, except they're black, not gold. didn't take note of her shoes but she seriously looks like some vampire or vampire killer... sheesh...

the third one i didn't really notice cos not v eye-catching compared to the other two.

got some other band the costumes also quite dumb la... like the "Fat Skunks" all logn sleeve n long pants, everything black n white... n all of them are FAT. and got another band i forgot wad name the members all wear weird hats. the vocalist wear baseball cap, drummer this BIG green cylindrical top hat. the bassist wearing a jester's hat, electric guitarist a construction worker helmet (think Bob the Builder) n the other guitarist wearing a farmer kinda straw hat.

dat's all i can rmb la. den after dat went to meet my family at carrefour before going home.

Love is patient, love is kind.
It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.
It is not rude, it is not self-seeking,
It is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.
Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.
It always protects, always trusts,
Always hopes, always perseveres.

                                                -1 Corinthians 13:4-7

Today i woke up at 7.30am for sum weird reason... i usually sleep till 10, 11+ anyway, i supposed to meet sharon n george for games committee planning at 10 la... so went back to sleep... den my alarm clock screwed up. lucky i still woke up at 9.15 so could rush lol

in the end i got there at 9.55 n received an sms from sharon saying dat she n george will both be late... so i waited till 10.10 before they came lol. so yea... discuss... 11.45 ended den nothing to do so walked back to church wif sharon cos she gotta meet wif pastor graham to rehearse her flute part for the song he teaching for tomorrow's service.

when i got to church i got an sms from my piano teacher. she sick den gotta cancel my lesson. so tada! whole sat free... too bad couldn't think of anywhere to go or anyone to hang out wif so i went home n watched tv... (this morning's kids central cartoons my bro taped) lol. den play com... read book. my wonderful saturday... ^^