Thoughts started wandering when i was studying this afternoon. it's disturbing, i find, how love has gotten so messed up. u hear people going i love u so much i can't live without you n i would die for u bla n bla. sure sure romantic. but is that love?

The lines of boundaries between love, lust and obsession are v fine n blur into each other so often dat it's hard to make out which is which sumtimes. but i think they are completely different in nature. if it is really love that is happening, the relationship will either work out, or end peacefully in mutual understanding and consent. there is no cold war or shouting fest.

The difference:
Lust says, "I need you to be in my life."
Obsession says, "I can't live without you, my life is nothing."
Love says, "I want to be part of your life and make it wonderful."

Simply stated, lust is all about taking, a selfish desire to fulfill one's own passions. obsession is about clinging on to, like perhaps a 3-year-old would refuse to release a teddy bear. but love, above all else, is giving.

The purpose of a relationship based on lust starts with: i want you to be mine, to make my life happy, to make me smile, to satisfy me. obsession comes after lust, when desires and emotions run so high that it becomes a drug, a violent addiction. the problem with this is that when the emotions die down, there is nothing left. the whole thing revolves around being happy and the moment things go bad, run. if not, then it will end because he/she can no longer satisfy your desires. lust is never truly satisfied. it always seeks new thrills. such relationships are doomed to fail.

A relationship based on love begins because both parties want to be part of the other's life, because they feel they can make a difference to the other, making life better for each other. what happens here is that happy times will remain happy. but when things go bad, it doesn't end. because it is about making the other happy, both will want to try and get over this rocky stage. the result, is a stronger bond than before and an understand which runs deeper and deeper each time.

"Love is blind" the guy who said this is a fool. Love is never blind. lust is blind. obsession is deluded. love is always clear. Climbing the ladder of life, one party slips. Lust will move on. obsession will jump down after the person. Love will help the other back up and move on together as one. lust is blind because it sees the surface and nothing past that. it will always be blind to what is really happening as long as the physical needs are fulfilled. obsession is so caught up in the senseless craving that it convinces itself everything's alright even when the relationship begins to fall around their ears. love is the only which will seek the root of the problem and solve it, which will help the other party to find his/her footing again. why? because it seeks a better life for both of them.

That's the whole problem with the idea of love now. so common in songs: "i lose my breathe when i see your face." "you're the only one who makes me feel alive." the moment they feel the heart-thumping i-so-want-to-be-holding-him/her feeling they go "I'M IN LOVE!!" bullshit. love can come if and ONLY IF u know the person and u can safely say that i will stick with him/her through wadever that comes along because i want him/her to be happy. people nowadays see sum shuai guy or chio girl n they think they're in love. otherwise it's cos the other person makes them smile and they feel comfortable with each other but they hardly really know each other. it is NOTHING BUT RUN-AWAY EMOTIONS!!

Love is patient, love is kind.
It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.
It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it
     keeps no record of wrongs.
Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.
It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always
     perseveres.
                    -1 Corinthians 13:4-7

There. The perfect definition, in my opinion. Lust is not patient. lust is proud. it's definitely self-seeking and never protects and seldom trusts. the only thing it hopes for is the next time they kiss or, if u want extremities, to have sex. Obsession is really envious, it boasts, it's proud. It is very easily angered and will keep track of all the times the other person has let them down. it never trusts very much. true, it perseveres. but only because it doesn't want to let go of the physical feelings. it persevers in the same way a drug addict will cut off his arm for an ecstacy pill.

Especially to teens. love isn't as simple as you think. it's not a boy meets girl, boy likes girl, vice versa and happily ever after. think carefully. will u be willing to sacrifice time, sleep and energy to make it work? to sit down and smooth out all the bumps? will u be willing to give up your dreams and desires to accomodate for the other? if there are still things, other than your principles and morals, u think too important to give up for him/her, then maybe u should reconsider your "love".

Those who came here and read this entry, please help spread the message. Thanks! =)